Some Things are Just Too WEIRD to Eat...(Part II of II)
As I was saying yesterday, some things - processed foods in particular - are more than a little unfit for human consumption. (Actually, the word unfit is, itself, an understatement.) Take the wheel of cheese pictured on the left, for instance. Sure it looks like an ordinary wheel of European cheese, but don't let its appearance deceive you. As appetizing as this cheese looks, it's actually infested with maggots. That's right: maggots - prepubescent flies, minna-sama. I kid you not: while many exquisite cheeses are packed to the gills with bluish mold that gives them their characteristic flavor and streaked appearance, this one is crawling with ickle bugs! This nefarious delicacy is produced in the Italian province of Sardinia. According to the Sardinians, it's their key to longevity, great health, and - among the men - extraordinary virility. (I'm pretty sure that most guys would probably prefer to use bottled supplements as opposed to creepy-crawlies to increase their studliness, though. ^_-)
Of course, you may say that the maggot-riddled cheese of Sardinia is just an example of archaic barbarism. However, the world of modern processed foods has a number of atrocities that should never have made their way onto supermarket shelves in the first place. The Japanese have a penchant for such gastronomic atrocities. For every scrumptious bag of Tohato Caramel Corn and box of Pocky, there are usually a number of things that will most probably make people hurl. Some Japanese pizzerias know how to make a pizza with everything - and I mean everything - on it: mayonnaise, potato croquettes, curry gravy, squid ink, chopped octopus, natto (fermented soybeans)... Seriously everything, but that's still rather edible. Pictured above left are the sour plum-dusted Kabaya Ume pretzels mentioned previously mentioned in Part One of the Mad About Sweets - Japanese Sweets entry. Plain corn or wheat pretzels are a treat, no questions asked. Umeboshi - Japanese plums pickled with spices and vinegar - are pleasant enough in the summer. Just don't even think about mixing them... *shudders* Urrgh... And I won't even talk about the octopus-flavored pretzels. Nasty, very nasty.
But if you really want something that will churn your stomach, you should hear about the junk food commonly available in Eastern Europe. Up where it's almost always cold, many foods are absolutely calorific as it allows people to bulk up and stay warm for the long, frosty winters. However, one of the chief mainstays of the Eastern European diet is pork fat. Now, for all the rest of us, a little pork fat is nice. Bacon tastes better with the fat on. (I fervently agree with Filipino film director Peque Gallaga that all this fat-free bacon they're trying to ram down our gullets is an abomination on high.) Pork adobo gains richness if you use fatty cuts. If you bard a cut of beef or lamb with pork fat before roasting, it won't dry out.
In the Slavic countries, on the other hand, they go overboard with their love for pork fat. The Hungarian dish known as salo is hardly anything more but a slab of salt-cured pork fat (as seen in the picture above) served up on a platter with brown bread and assorted pickles. But hey, salo is still a better deal than the "hangover cure" sold in Hungarian bars in the wee hours of the morning: a slab of white bread is slathered with lard and sprinkled with paprika to help die-hard alocholics get back to zero after a hard night of drinking! (Gwork...!) In some parts of Russia, chunks of salt-cured fatback is sold in market stalls as a portable snack to be munched on while grocery-shopping. But the worst use (or dare I say abuse?) of pork fat in snacks is this truly revolting confection made and sold in the Ukraine: candy bars made of sweetened chunks of lard covered in milk chocolate! The things these people do to food should be considered a criminal act and duly punished!
Honestly, the things some people will eat...
